Firstly, welcome to my introductory blog post! I am so excited to be sharing my thoughts with you and I hope that you will find encouragement in my words. Let me tell you all a little bit about me. I’m a born and raised Midwestern girl from Southwest Ohio, near the Ohio River. I have been married to my wonderful husband for four years now and we have two precious babies. I work as a RN Diabetes Educator in Cincinnati, OH and I have been a nurse for 6 years! I have wanted to begin writing for sometime now, but have struggled with the question of “Am I good enough?” or “Do people even care what I have to say?” But honestly, I’m not counting on changing the whole world but if my words can have a positive impact on my little corner of it then I think that will be just fine! I want to share with you all my struggles and be a source of encouragement, in our day to day.
I am not new to my faith, in fact I was raised in the church from 6 weeks old. But during my 29 years, I have gone through seasons of my faith and I have learned some things about myself. One, is that I most definitely need God in my life. No matter how hard I try to do it all by myself, it just doesn’t work. I had been walking alone for most of college and part of my adult life and it is exhausting; I would still go to church occasionally but I wasn’t living the Word. Over the past few years I have found myself turning to God when things get tough and every time I turned, He was there.
In middle school and high school, I was the “religious” kid wearing church camp and Christian concert t-shirts and even working at a Christian summer camp (best job, ever!!). I could recite a bible verse relevant to any situation or conversation I was having and I enjoyed being the person that people came to with difficult things. I knew the stories backwards and forwards and looked forward to long discussions at Wednesday night bible study. I knew my identity was in Christ and I was confident in that! But as I drifted away from my faith and further into the world, those precious words have been lost to me. It makes my heart sad. There have been times when I knew there was a verse or a promise from God that I needed but I couldn’t remember it or even where to find it in the Bible. I was so disappointed in myself and realized just how much I rely on God’s wisdom in my day to day life. Whether it be a difficult situation at work or at home or in a moment of joy or praise, the words that were supposed to be hidden in my heart were gone. The enemy is powerful and his influence is everywhere, convincing us our identity will be found on Instagram or in our careers or with a certain partner. In social media, on the news, books and magazines and music-everything that we are slammed with on a daily basis. These things promise fulfillment and comfort but in reality leave us disappointed and in want of more- more likes, more follows, better pictures, better clothes. My life had been so filled with things of this world that my heart was bruised and dirty and I couldn’t find God’s words anymore.
As David sings in Psalms 119- I have hidden your words in my heart so I might not sin against you. David, who God hand-picked to be King of Israel even had to remind himself of God’s promises and keep them hidden in his heart. I think David is very much like the rest of us. We are all chosen by God as His children and we all fall short as did David, but stronger than any sword or army against evil are the words of God. And when we stumble in our faith, God is there when we turn back to him. I continue to stray, on occasion, tempted by all the shiny things but I find myself turning back to God more quickly than before as I realize the things of this world are temporary. God and His word is forever and will stand firm.
As I have turned back many times, needing His strength and love to help me we can all turn back even if the words we need are not so easily found in our hearts. God makes our hearts clean again and reveals His word to us; those memorized Bible versus are still there, just a little dirty from all the distractions. I hope to tattoo those words, to carve them back in to my heart, never to be lost again through this blog and through conversations with you, reader.